Losing My Sole

Trying not to limp on account of my “staved” toe we arrive at the Legacy Ball in the Brisbane Convention Centre with me feeling all suave and debonair. (It’s a Saturday night and tuxes have the effect of making us men feel like we’re James Bond!) The place was packed full of people done up to the nines (with a few tens among the women I might add – my wife included of course!) Anyway, just beforehand, as we were trying to find our way into the convention centre, a man on the busy street (who perhaps had had a couple of drinks) said to me, “You’ve got style!” I doesn’t take much to make my head swell so I began thinking I actually was James Bond (Sean Connery style!) Cue the Bond music!

Dot had earlier agreed that on account of my busted left big toe I would be excused from all dancing! (Great! I thought, ‘cause I can’t dance anyway!) However and as these things go, a few drinks later Dot starts getting all “dancy.” “I can’t. My busted toe, remember?” “Och, just one!” she says. “Anyway, the sole of my right shoe is starting to come off.” My tactic of dance-avoidance didn’t work! “Here,” says Dot “McGyver”, “Use this black ribbon. Tie it to hold the sole onto your shoe and let’s get on the dance floor.” “But, but, but…” says I. “Look,” she says, “Don’t move your feet when you dance.” So with a dance-eager Dot ahead of me I hobble on to the dance floor still trying to look all suave and debonair! (Did James Bond ever have to deal with these kinds of difficulties?)

 After much dancing (and Dot claims it’s the best she’s ever seen me dance in our thirty-five years of being together!) the clock struck midnight and it was time for us to leave and try to find the place outside in the street below where Nina had first dropped us off earlier. Rats! As we stood up from the table the sole of my left shoe started coming off too! So I ripped both soles off and flung them in the nearest bin and had to walk up a couple of busy streets on Brisbane’s Southbank . It was so-o-o-o-o-o un-James Bond like! Needless to say I was almost ecstatic when we turned a corner and saw Nina’s car. I jumped into the backseat and slid down low below window level lest anyone should see me…

Och, it was great feeling like James Bond for the wee while before I began to lose my sole!