Dear Dorothy

(For my beautiful wife on her birthday)

Dear Dorothy

This is not a love letter. This is merely a letter from a husband to his beautiful wife upon her temporary absence from his side. You told me that your name meant ‘gift of God.’ You are our God’s gift to me. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful present as you? I don’t even deserve the outer wrapping that contains you. My mother saw something special in you. Mind you, she always looked at the soul. She wanted you for me. So I looked again at you, this time deeper. Like diving into the deep blue sky through a mountain telescope I peered into your innermost being, through the windows of your soul. That’s when I wanted you to be mine too. I saw you as my other half, my ‘better half.’ I needed you for me to become complete. Two halves make a whole. We share a rib.

“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’ … And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen. 2:18; 21-24)

I didn’t know I was alone until I met you. How lonely it is without you, like a tree without leaves is naked, like a river without water is dry. I await your arrival, like winter waits for spring. The months are as long as winter shadows. When will my mountain snows melt? When will your infectious laughter bubble forth from my side again? My tears taste salty when they run down my face, tears of missing you.

Your nose crinkles when you smile. Your smile is what captivated me when we first met. Your laughter took me prisoner. You brought lasting joy to my life, the joy of a kindred soul. Yet one word from your soft lips very easily brings me pain. It hurts me when I displease you. When I hurt you I hurt myself, like hitting my thumb with a hammer.

Your eyes are mystery to me. They can be so black, dark, mysterious, yet next time I look, so bright, so clear, so open. With a look you are able to remove my cloak of pride, like a blade of grass pops a child’s soapy bubble. I’m so tied to you. You deflate me. But you puff me up again. You are the very air I breathe, my lungs. My sweetness, I’m gasping for air! I miss hearing you breathe by my side. Through the night the silence scares me. I want to hold you. Caress you. I want to be complete again. I want to breathe…

Pray that the LORD God, our Lord, would be pleased to reunite us quickly. For I very much miss the gift He has given me, now sitting on a ‘silver’ platter. Twenty-five years has not dulled their gladdening sound. For my heartstrings still tug at the wedding bells in my mind every time I think of you. Love, Neil.

 

(Excerpted from my e-book "Disembark the Ark & Other Contemplations)