INJURY
AT THE HEALING CHURCH’S DOOR
The
following are a few (condensed) exchanges mainly between Stuart and me (and
Fergie) as we tried to make sense of the news that our little sister Catriona’s
husband, Neil, had had a heart attack outside St Fillan’s Church, Houston (Scotland)
on Sunday 18th September.
Vale
James Neil Yeaman who died on Thursday 22nd September 2022 aged 66.
Funeral
Thursday 6th October 2022.
|
Neil & Catriona |
Stuart: Yes, Neil fell
when he had the attack, and received a head injury. There is great concern
about bleeding on the brain. His heart was treated in an operation involving a
stent. It is his brain that is greatly worrying now. It’s a dangerous crisis.
He was fine yesterday and at a big juniors match with Hamish [his son who was] playing
for the Bankies against the Spartans at Holm Park… We had a wee dinner at our
place in a couple of weeks ago. He had regular tests for this’n’that last week
and was told he was in good shape…
Neil: I take it that
Neil was walking home from his wee local in Houston? It’s only a few minutes
walk from his house.
Stuart: Yes, a couple of
pints and a five-minute stroll from the Riverside (Crosslee). Never overdoes
it. Sensible stuff… Neil had been in Houston after the Bankies match, after
five o’clock and had a pint at the Houston Inn, in the village. He was asked
(by phone, I’m not clear) if he wanted a lift home, but it was cheerfully
agreed “a walk would do him good…”
He
had the attack just outside the chapel, St Fillan’s, near the junction leaving
the village, not far from home. He was found lying on the pavement, a man in a
pink jumper (unless I misheard — I didn’t press for details, but Catriona,
hearing a man had been found, asked about the colour of his pullover and knew
it was Neil. Had she been worried about his return?)
Neil
was helped by passers-by, one of them a nurse applying CPR. He was taken to the
Royal Alexandra in Paisley and then to the Golden Jubilee…
More
clearly: Neil had a heart operation yesterday which included the insertion (if
that’s the term) of a stent. He is in a drug-induced coma to assist recovery
from brain injury sustained by, and/or as a result of, the fall.
Neil: Hopefully Neil
will pull through this without any permanent damage. I was Google-earthing St
Fillan’s in Houston. I used to pass it every morning as I ran from Catriona’s
up to the Fox & Hounds where I’d turn right, and then run across and down
through the park and all the way back to Cat’s house. I miss my wee sis!
Stuart: Yeh! I had no
idea (or maybe forgotten) you stayed there, but I like to give key points of
reference in a narrative to assist visualisation of the character of an area.
St Fillan has so much resonance in history (his armbone, as a relic, led the
troops at Bannockburn, says Tranter), plus his Highland distinction in Celtic
Christianity, and to me a little irony in this context of injury at the healing
church’s door, I instinctively had to include it. You’ve given the reference
life.
Neil: Is Tranter’s arm
bone reference in one of the Bruce trilogy? I must revisit Tranter… Yes, it was
the “little irony”, as you say, “injury at the healing church’s door” that
piqued my interest. Everything has meaning (even if we have to make up its
meaning!). Sorry, we shouldn’t be making up meaning but only observe what
meaning is already there. I believe in a sovereign God, which is a comfort to
me. As the old hymn goes,
“God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform
He
plants his footsteps in the sea, And rides upon the storm.
Deep
in unfathomable mines Of never failing skill;
He
treasures up his bright designs, And works His sovereign will.
Ye
fearful saints fresh courage take, The clouds ye so much dread
Are
big with mercy, and shall break In blessings on your head.” (William Cowper)
Stuart: Yes — “injury at
the healing church’s door” — I think the flow of words, if allowed to go
without interference from oneself can shake the truth out of a tree. Or at best
be assembled from elsewhere. And yes, the Dewars of St Fillan have a strong, if
eccentric, role in the Bruce trilogy.
Neil: I was doing the
Wikipedia version of Fillan’s story. Fascinating stuff! Here’re a couple of
quotes also mentioning the Houston connection:
“Fillan
is the patron saint of the mentally ill. In Strathfillan are the ruins of Saint
Fillan’s chapel, and hard by is the Holy Pool, in which the insane were, as
late as the 19th century, bathed to obtain a cure by the saint’s intercession.
Scott refers to it in Marmion (Cant. I. xxix).” “Near
the ruins of the old church, situated near Houston, is a stone called Fillan’s
Seat, and a spring called Fillan’s Well existed there until it was filled up,
as a remnant of superstition, by a parish minister in the eighteenth century.” Aye,
fascinating stuff indeed. Makes me want to visit Houston again to wander
around… Yes, your headline, “Injury at the Healing Church’s Door” does need a
(true) story to follow. Let’s hope Neil is healed both body and soul and
recovers with his mind fully intact. |
St Fillan's, Main St, Houston, Renfrewshire |
Stuart: Marmion is my
favourite Scott poem — his too. He says it practically wrote itself as he
galloped through the spray on the shore at Portobello. But, Fillan…
Sung
to the billows’ sound;
Thence
to Saint Fillan's blessed well, Whose springs can frenzied dreams dispel,
And
the crazed brain restore:
Saint
Mary grant that cave or spring Could back to peace my bosom bring,
Or
bid it throb no more!”
Neil: I must dig out
Scott’s Marmion… Aye, Saint Fillan. I saw that Killin was named for him, and
other places around Scotland and Ireland. We don’t pray to saints, but there
must be more to this “little irony” than meets the naked eye. We call nurses
angels because their work resembles that of the spirit beings. God, in His
sovereignty, sent an “angel” to assist Neil in his state of demise. If only we
could put on special glasses that would enable us to see what’s really going on
in all of this. Calvin calls the Bible “spectacles”, i.e., the spectacles of
Scripture. I put them on daily. This morning I prayed with tears for Neil’s
(total) healing. Elizabeth mentioned this verse to me earlier regarding Neil,
“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16.
Stuart: I admit, as
thirled (try getting that word past predictive censorship) as thirled tho amur
to Walter, and esp this A Tale of Flodden Field, I’ve never managed to read the
thing in one go. Whit!? No, nae, never. Here, I inadvertently captured an extra
line in slicing a bit from canto XXIX. Here’s the whole stanza:
“Lord
Marmion then his boon did ask; The Palmer took on him the task,
So
he would march with morning tide, To Scottish court to be his guide.
But
I have solemn vows to pay, And may not linger by the way,
To
fair St. Andrews bound, Within the ocean-cave to pray,
Where
good Saint Rule his holy lay, From midnight to the dawn of day,
Sung
to the billows’ sound;
Thence
to Saint Fillan’s blessed well, Whose springs can frenzied dreams dispel,
And
the crazed brain restore:
Saint
Mary grant that cave or spring Could back to peace my bosom bring,
Or
bid it throb no more!”
|
James Neil Yeaman |
Fergie: [After Stuart had shared with him what we’d written thus
far.] Thanks Stuart. Glad to read it. Shared with Mary. Fillan you
probably already know is from Scottish Faolan / Irish Faolán.Faol is one of the older terms for
Wolf in both Gaelics. The “an” is a diminutive. So one is typically informed by
online searches that Fillan means Little Wolf. Pedantically correct perhaps,
but I wonder if in the era of Celtic monks and their adherents the “an” could
as well be “heard” as an affectionate suffix. Maybe that familiarity would be
better captured by a rendering into English such as “Wolfie” perhaps? I have
no-one more clued up than me around to ask😄…Never heard the name spoken, but
approximate pronunciation would be in Scottish something like FOOLan (high oo -
as in glue - and with a thick L), and in Irish perhaps more akin to
FEELan. Here is a link to an Irish online
dictionary with the Ulster, Munster, and Connacht pronunciations (audio) of the
word Daol (beetle). Faol is in the dictionary but no sound files for it
unfortunately. https://www.teanglann.ie/en/fuaim/Daol
Stuart: We all share a depth of concern that keeps running and
rerunning through the mind. Our conversation (between Neil and me) seems
symptomatic of a desperation for a positive resolution, an intellectual
displacement activity, marking time. Yet it is clear, running beneath it, beside
it and all around it, is a great regard, liking, respect, a brotherly love
for Neil Y we’d never think to articulate, but resonates now. We want him
back, whole and sound: Yes, it is midnight in Scotland and it is our hope
the new day brings Neil another step back towards us. So much is clear in
the darkness of the hour. Thank you all for sharing it.
Elizabeth: [My sister-in-law after receiving a
copy thus far.] Hi Neil & Stuart, Thanks for the insightful conversations. I
also do tend to rightfully or wrongly look into things, looking for answers and
understandings. Midnight in Scotland just now, I hope Catriona is sleeping
resting her mind and body. Love, Liz |
Neil & Catriona, Fergie, front Neil & Stuart |
Postscript
Neil: It’s so difficult to lose a loved one. We hoped and
prayed that God would return Neil to us intact, that he’d awaken Neil from his
coma, restored body, mind, and soul. However, it was not to be. I’ve fallen out
with God before for less, far, far less. Should we forsake Him now, now that He
didn’t do what we wanted Him to? God forbid! As the one who suffered tragic and
terrible loss said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15a).
Why should we trust God even when we
don’t understand Him or what He is doing? “And we know
that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28). And where is He going
with “all things”, (yes, and even those really painful things!), as He works
them together for our good? “And God will wipe away
every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow,
nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed
away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all
things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and
faithful.” (Rev. 21:4-5). I know all this, yet I am so like Martha, I
needed to keep on being reminded.
“Martha
said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have
died. But even now I know that
whatever you ask from God, God will give you.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ Martha said
to him, ‘I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last
day.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection
and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall
he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never
die. Do you believe this?’ She said to him, ‘Yes,
Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is
coming into the world” (John 11:21-27).
I wanted my
brother-in-law Neil to live, we all did. If only God had come to him when he
was in that coma but was still alive. But God had other plans, greater plans –
as He works all things together for good. As we look for meaning, we must trust
Him alone to give all things meaning. Otherwise, everything will become
meaningless to us.